just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
