Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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