i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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