Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
