Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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