pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
