dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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