i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
