I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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