he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
