We're facebook friends in real life
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
