Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
