Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
