How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I cannot find my penis.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize