You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
