of course. lets lasso hookers.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
