you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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