Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
