I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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