but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
