This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
