Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
