I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
