so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't notice because vodka
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
