omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
