Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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