I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
