Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
