what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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