Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
