I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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