Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
