Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
