Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how can u be prego again
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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