I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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