the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
