Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
