how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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