Where did you get a picture of my penis
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
