I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
