How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
