Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
