It's just like the Real World with babies
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
