i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
