Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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