Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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