everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
