4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
