dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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