haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
