Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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