Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
