It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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