dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she was so not down for the gang bang
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
