My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Bring me that man meat
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
