Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My vagina just clenched in fear
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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