My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
