dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
