i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
