As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
