I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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